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Your Word: What
Gives It More Influence?
By Martin Brossman
The idea that our
words can create and really effect change was an
extraordinary discovery in my life. But at the same
time, I have to admit, everyday life situations make
it incredibly easy to forget this concept!
Let’s look at two ways to view our own words. One is
to see them as a vehicle to describe the world
around us; another is to use them to create
something new in our lives. When the Declaration of
Independence in America began, it was just words on
paper, yet it changed the course of history. Notice
the words “declaration of independence”--they are
stating a commitment with actions aligned with it.
When John F. Kennedy said, "This nation should
commit itself to achieving the goal, before this
decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and
returning him safely to the Earth,” that was also
just words. When Martin Luther King made his “I have
a dream” speech, that was also ‘just words’. Do you
think in all of these instances they had it all
worked out, their plans all together, feeling fully
prepared with understanding of all the details of
fulfillment that would spread out ahead of them? Of
course not! But the world now knows just how
powerfully these declarations of words with
committed actions changed reality.
What if we spoke each day as though we, too, could
change or influence reality? Would you choose your
words in a different way? Would you use your words
like a talented sculptor who lines up his chisel in
just the right way to create something new and
marvelous out of bare stones?
What gives our words
more influence? Is just stating something enough?
Maybe adding visual emphasis by putting up our
affirmations on sticky notes all over the house?
That may be a useful start, yet something more seems
to need to be present.
In the three historic examples there was the power
of real committed declaration followed by committed
action. Perhaps you’ve had experiences where you
stated words of declaration followed by true
commitment of actions. How did others respond to
your words? Have you ‘trained’ people to know you as
someone whose words are aligned with your actions?
What type of garden have you created for your words
to land in? A fertile word garden is one where what
you say and do align with each other.
Do you live as though
your words have meaning, life, passion, making a
difference-- or do you use your words for collecting
evidence of how life does not work for you?
As I am writing, I am
critiquing myself. I can find places where I am
giving power, commitment and action to my words and
others where I am not.
When I was thinking
of what questions to explore in the first-ever live
recording of my men’s discussion group, The Men’s
Inquiry, I chose to explore the power of our word.
The starting question was: “What does it mean to be
a man of your word?” The discussion revealed that
where some men believed they ‘were their word,” they
discovered that often they were not. For example
when you say you will be at location X at time Y and
you are not, do you realize you ‘broke your word’
and how that affects you and others? What does that
say about how you value their time? What does that
say about how you view the value of YOU being there?
What does it mean to ‘be your word’ and why would
you do it? To me it means what you say will happen,
does happen!
I have found that
word, commitment, and integrity are very important
to be packaged together if you want to make things
happen in the world. I have also found that aligning
them gives more power to your word for yourself,
others, and your environment. What builds trust the
most is not so much how likeable you are, but what
you do to align your words with your actions-- and
what you do when your words do not align with your
actions. I have also discovered in working with my
coaching clients that taking the ‘moral issue’ out
of aligning your actions and words seems to help
improve alignment of both. For example, if you just
feel guilty and bad that you broke your word and do
nothing else, you have increased the chance that you
will do it again. On the other hand, if you move
beyond the ‘judgment’ level of this and see that
your words did not align with your actions, then
what to do next is to clean up the break in your
word with some new action.
I have also
discovered that when we improve our integrity to
ourselves, our word seems to have more impact to
others. That is, when what you say to yourself you
are going to do aligns with what you do, you gain
more ability to affect your environment.
At the same time if
you become too ‘careful’ with words, you won’t learn
how to use them, experience their effect, or be able
to study what works and what does not. It is like
my Aikido instructor said: you will never be a
master until you learn to love the mat. This means
you will not make any great progress unless you give
yourself room to make mistakes and learn from them.
Some people are so careful with words, afraid to
commit to an action, or using words so
dispassionately that they become enslaved by their
own process of carefully controlling themselves and
their environment.
What does this have
to do with business? It has everything to do with
business. If your words don’t align with your
actions, the foundation of your business will be on
unstable ground. The higher the business builds
without congruency of words and actions, the greater
likelihood that the unstable foundation will cause
problems to surface.
So in the process of
exploring the effect of your own words, make sure to
allow some passion and fun to come into the mix!
Take it very seriously for a bit, then explore
taking it lightly and learn from both approaches.
How has aligning your words with your actions
affected your life? I would enjoy hearing about it!
Here’s a great closing quote from Oprah Winfrey: “I
believe the choice to be excellent begins with
aligning your thoughts and words with the intention
to require more from yourself.”
Martin Brossman is a
Success Coach, speaker, trainer and author. His new
CD “What does it mean to be a man of your word” can
be found on the Men’s Inquiry Web site at:
www.toinquire.com Martin can be reached at
Martin@CoachingSupport.com , (919) 847-4757, or
www.CoachingSupport.com |
