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Putting Yourself Out There
By Martin Brossman
Have you recently stepped onto
a new life path or been drawn to what you feel is
your calling? Have you taken on an entrepreneurial
venture or made a transition from corporate
employment to self-employment? If you answered
yes to any of these, you might be experiencing a
condition that is hardly ever discussed and usually
completely understood. It’s something I have
discovered in coaching, especially with clients in
the process of changing from working for someone
else to working for themselves. This mysterious
‘something’ is an unexpected resistance to putting
yourself out there, to really stepping fully into
your new role and letting the world know you are
completely capable and ready for business.
Observing resistance
How do you know if you are affected by the
resistance factor? It basically exists if the level
of motivation you would expect is not present. As a
recent client said, “ I had no problem blowing the
doors off my sales objective when I worked for
someone else, but now that I’m selling my own
product, going for what I really want, I have
challenges staying as motivated.”. Now this doesn’t
mean that he is on the wrong path. What it does mean
is that he hadn’t realized how he had hidden out
from truly putting himself out there in the past
behind the shield of the other company that was not
his own.
It seems that nothing brings up long-ignored life
issues like going out on your own in business. Any
unresolved issues are forced up to your
consciousness to be worked out, resulting in
feelings like, ‘maybe I’m not in the right field,
maybe I’m not supposed to be doing this’…Of course
it does not occur at the same level for everyone,
and the solution is unique for each person.
Remember, this is not a fake-it-til-you-make-it
method. It is the art of recreating yourself into
your next role, a process I designed that takes you
through the following four steps:
1. Creating a new role
Define your new direction. For example, say to
yourself, “ I am taking full responsibility for my
life; I am here and of value; who I am can make a
difference”. Step into who you are meant to be
instead of who you think you are. Remember only a
prince or princess can dream of a castle.
2. Stepping into and living
out of the role
This is a chance to develop a fortitude you may
not have developed in your former work life. If
other people speak more powerfully or
enthusiastically about your business than you are
able to do, that’s a sign that you have work to do
to get to the level of speaking powerfully about the
gifts you have to offer. There will be both an
element of fear and excitement present, as well as
some anxiety as you move to the next level.
3. Collecting evidence of progress in the role
Keep an accomplishment journal to record your
successes. Record customer testimonials to apply in
your promotional materials and to re-read when you
need a boost!
4. Designing the
environment to call you forward in the role
Get clarity on what motivates you and have a
system to help you remember it. Realize how
unstructured time many affect you, and create a new
time structure that will keep you in action, with
sufficient down time for effectiveness. Set up
support that keeps you on track with who you say you
are and what you are up to.
Building your own mentor
A client attempting to start a fashion accessory
business was facing negative family members who told
her she was foolish to go for what she wanted. I
saw that support wasn’t going to come from her
immediate environment, so I worked with her to
create an imaginary mentor, created from a
combination of super heroes and Oprah, to advise her
in difficult times. Her turning point came when she
stood up to her overbearing older sister, telling
her, “This is who I am now, and if you want to keep
talking to me, you have to accept that.” After that
she started standing up for other things that were
important---like herself—and built up her business
one satisfied customer at a time.
Generating motivation
Another client who had previously done well with
a large real estate group was not doing as well in
the new agency he had started with a desire to offer
greater customer service. We worked to build a
mission for him and his partner and tightened up his
work schedule. Since he was going to his office but
wasn’t being productive there, I had him show up at
his favorite coffee shop first thing in the morning
for work. But his best motivation came from
envisioning sitting down with his grown kids in the
future, giving them advice on exploring their own
business by telling them how he worked through his
fears. Just one year later I gave a presentation to
his team of employees in their new expanded office
space.
Leaning into progress
People who have made progress on this describe
moving from a state of mentally leaning back and
occasionally moving forward to an experience that
feels like steadily leaning forward into what they
have to sell or offer, while realizing that if they
don’t get it out there, either someone else will or
the value that they have to offer people will be
lost. They move from a state of diffused focus to
clear focus, from disharmony to harmony.
What are you doing to lean into your goals? To
create a sense of urgency?
When you put yourself out
there, you will see the adventure as exhilaration.
So deeply engaged that you’re
energized, you’ll feel confident that you’re
absolutely in the right place. |
